Masturbation and 2&1

https://x.com/2and1xo/status/2112318334678995111?s=20

I never had this in the image as a kid. Sadly and of course not with only ingenuity, I watched a porn tape in my family pc of a big orgy and started masturbating at 9 or 10. Older I continued which is really bad in my mature worldview, but not pejorative - just because nowadays is much better. Nowadays I do it less, but I do use inagination more. I do not like really being kinky like in my puberty towards porn and women. It's a commitment to 2&1 into autoerotism, not just randomly fucking someone. This means reservation to the correct woman to have a good life with her. 4 years with no dates - I am really enjoying... More 2y I guess I get my wealth and security together in a medium to enjoy for real my life. It is an investment! Believe... 2&1, Ace, Zero (0 1 2) do work for anyone, as well the entire theory I am developing towards 🙏🏻🔗🔐

I think of this as my personality and type of person. It’s been a downfall into porn. But this event describes some sort of reserve into my childhood that has been perturbed and I didn’t have how to escape. The first event is just a prelude to what was going to be my adolescence. Being convinced that relationships involving sex are good - they aren’t and as I have state I suffered rape and innocently fled towards a lifestyle that promoted more and more problems into sex relationships. It has been really a downfall, until my 24 25 26 years old, when through difficulty and conscientization I became more experient - turning clear into my perception how the divine purpose given birth was to be realized into my adulthood, conscious. “Saint” is a word that describes sia my behaviour, sia where people that violated my intimacy and incentived, also use - yes, “saint”… To me is clear the attack by my own family members, not close family, but still family. I remember clearly this talk with my grandma of she saying some time before the episode of the 1st masturbation “Do you really believe in saints?”. In Italy, all this happened and also there they called my attention to this figure of my family when I went to a pastoral retirement with friends, as a kid, at 11 or 12y.

I like this story… It is perfect in my worldview - it’s a fall and an ascension. But it show many aspects sia in the divine or religious primarily purpose, sia into abuse and betrayal. Many content I come in touch with talk about the divine purpose and the collision, hit with the others will into the world. So, as a child there is of course ingenuity and reserve, that were violated through abuse and collusion. But I came out of this abnegation of santity, which I came to touch into astral projection in the past years.

Happily, at end, I have found my senses to all this - 2&1. Standing alone (1), accepting as well nothing (0) and awaiting for something that will last my entire life (2) - because it is reasonable and I’ve found it in my dreams and astral projection. And, at last, 2&1 works!

Resuming, it’s a projection into the common world. Not wanted at all. Too much abrupt and grotesque. Sia early as a child through porn, sia after with abusive relationships, that I learned not to have if I want something valuable in life. Should it all have happened?! Not… But it happened. And now, maturing I am understanding better, perfectly I should say in the next years, and as you can see - enough through the purpose of this website.